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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m chillin’ at my place on Abay Street, right? Sippin’ my coffee, scrolling through my phone. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking outside. Like, dude, chill! It’s not a race! I peek out the window, and there’s this old lady trying to cross the street. Bless her heart, she’s moving like a turtle on a mission.

London Fashion Week: Paul Costelloe looks to equestrian world; Bora Aksu gets inspiration from Empress Sisi